Love by Conflict Avoidance

Video to come.

Morning Message Text: Titus 3: 1-11

Saved in Order to Do Good
1 Remind the people to be subject to rulers and authorities, to be obedient, to be ready to do whatever is good,
2 to slander no one, to be peaceable and considerate, and always to be gentle toward everyone.
3 At one time we too were foolish, disobedient, deceived and enslaved by all kinds of passions and pleasures. We lived in malice and envy, being hated and hating one another.
4 But when the kindness and love of God our Savior appeared,
5 he saved us, not because of righteous things we had done, but because of his mercy. He saved us through the washing of rebirth and renewal by the Holy Spirit,
6 whom he poured out on us generously through Jesus Christ our Savior,
7 so that, having been justified by his grace, we might become heirs having the hope of eternal life.
8 This is a trustworthy saying. And I want you to stress these things, so that those who have trusted in God may be careful to devote themselves to doing what is good. These things are excellent and profitable for everyone.
9 But avoid foolish controversies and genealogies and arguments and quarrels about the law, because these are unprofitable and useless.
10 Warn a divisive person once, and then warn them a second time. After that, have nothing to do with them.
11 You may be sure that such people are warped and sinful; they are self-condemned.

Morning Message:

Let me start this morning by confessing to you my own shortcomings and my need to be careful about giving my opinions in worship outside of biblical truth. When I preach, I may sometimes give examples from the world around us, I believe that it is necessary to connect God’s word to our daily lives. I may also give my opinion based on my study of God’s word as to what this means for our Christian lives. The tricky part is this, outside of the context of God’s Word my opinion has no place in worship. This is not the place to give opinions that, even though we feel they may be well founded, can be hurtful to those around us who have an opinion that differs from ours. Worship can be many things. It can be a place to learn and have our opinions and beliefs adjusted by the Holy Spirit as we listen to God’s Word proclaimed. It should be the place where we come to commune with God and share our love for him and one another. The point is this: Our personal opinions are often shaped by what we hear and unfortunately which news channel we watch. None of them are completely truthful, but that doesn’t matter, we just need to check our personal opinions at the door of the church. I felt like I came close to not doing that last week and God quickly brought it to my attention.

On Monday morning God gave me this in my devotional (Titus 3:9). “Avoid foolish controversies and genealogies and arguments and quarrels about the law, because these are unprofitable and useless.” Those words hit my conscience like a ton of bricks. I know when I feel that God has something important to say to me. Listen to the rest of this devotion. It happens every day on the internet and in person-to-person conversations. One person feels strongly about their viewpoint on a topic, while another feels strongly about the opposite viewpoint. When those people engage, they produce a quarrel. Most of us do not possess the gift of persuasive conversation, so what benefit results from arguing with someone who does not share our values or ideals? Mostly, such interactions are useless and unprofitable. Now, let’s move this to a worship service. What do we think happens when we share our personal opinion or views on a subject? What happens in the heart, mind and soul of someone who does not share that view? Their worship experience has been compromised. They may spend the rest of the service upset and thinking about what was said and completely miss the experience of true worship. God clearly reminded me that we do not come to worship to give opinions, we come to worship God.

Many times, I hear God speak through my devotional readings, but never as much as this one. I feel compelled to use all of it today. Listen: Instead, we need to pursue things that are worthwhile and serve a good purpose. What is profitable? To find the gift God has given us and then to pursue it for His honor and glory. This does not mean we avoid speaking the truth in love, for this is the calling for each of us. Not our truth, nor the truth that we have heard from the news or the world. We are called to speak God’s truth in a loving way. This really made me think about my words and actions. Am I holding what I hear up to God’s word and allowing him to show me what is true and right, or do I simply take what I hear and if my mind agrees with it, make it my truth. Have I covered even what I know to be true in the love of Jesus so that I might speak it in the most loving way?

Where to begin? With a gentle spirit, eager to demonstrate God’s love. Tell me if this sounds familiar to you. “Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things” (1Corinthians 13: 4-7). Use your time profitably today by demonstrating God’s love to someone. When I say to you, we should love others as ourselves, what comes to mind? We think of loving someone by taking care of them, giving to them,showing them our love by having compassion, maybe treating them in a special way, going out of our way for them. There are a thousand different ways that we can love others, but here is the one that blew me away when God put it on my heart. There is a more difficult way that we are called to love that we don’t pay enough attention to. Love by conflict avoidance. This kind of love takes practice and self-discipline. Here is the thought that God gave me. Unless it is connected to God’s word, consider your brothers and sisters in Christ, think about how what you say might affect them.

Listen one more time to verses one and two of today’s scripture. “Remind the people to be subject to rulers and authorities, to be obedient, to be ready to do whatever is good, to slander no one, to be peaceable and considerate, and always to be gentle toward everyone.” We all need to let that sink in. We need to be very intentional with our words. How? By intentionally thinking through everything that we say and do and making sure that it comes from a place of love. Love by conflict avoidance. And remember to leave your opinions at the door of the church, or if you would like, bring them forward, place them on God’s alter as part of your preparation for worship.

In Christ’s Love and Peace,
Pastor Bob

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Sermon Date 2026-01-18
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